Nine Warning Signs of Empty Travel

March 3rd, 2010 | 28 comments


Guest post by @magicant

Business travel is an oxymoron, like plastic silverware. It’s not travel. It’s just a bunch of meetings after a really long commute. I’ve been fortunate to see a lot of the world while on the company dime, but I rarely got to experience the places I visited.

Most overseas groups that want to work with American companies are looking to bring America to what they’re doing, so it tends to be a very insular experience. Meetings are in English. The hotels are the chains we’re familiar with. People you deal with were educated at western universities. About the only cultural thing I really learned in my travels was the formality involved in the exchange of business cards.

All that adds up to my desire to break free and someday go back to those places I never really got to know.

Do you think you have a similar problem? Here are some warning signs that mean you need to seek help (with apologies to that redneck guy).

  1. If you force your taxi driver in Dubai to stop at Dunkin Donuts because you don’t have them in California… you might be a business traveler
  2. If checking out the local bar means taking a Snickers from a mini-fridge in Dusseldorf… you might be a business traveler
  3. If you think Sunday mass at the Vatican would flow better with bullet points and clip art… you might be a business traveler
  4. If the ending of “Up In The Air” was a happy one…. you might be a business traveler
  5. If you’re excited that MTV in Seoul actually shows music videos… you might be a business traveler
  6. If people in Singapore take you to an Italian restaurant for dinner… you might be a business traveler
  7. If most of the photos of your Hong Kong trip are of the city’s high tech new escalator system… you might be a business traveler
  8. If you try to figure out financial models and revenue stream potential while walking through Amsterdam… you might be a business traveler
  9. If the only memory you have of London is “Hey, check out the cool looking taxis!”… you might be a business traveler

For those people exhibiting 3 or more of the symptoms above, there are professional counselors standing by. Don’t look at me, I’m guilty of at least 5 of them.

About Joel:

The Freedonia Post is not a blog for travel writing. It’s comedy written while traveling. Well, that’s the plan. I have to start traveling first. And figure out the comedy. The writing? I’m kind of hoping that will happen on its own somehow.

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  • http://worldaccording2lisa.blogspot.com/ LadyWanderlust

    Thank God as a teacher I really don't have the opportunity to “travel for business” (or the school does not have the money to even think about sending me). Thankfully, I have the entire summer to also travel. But, LOL, funny list in a sad “American” filter kind of way. :)

  • Stephanie

    Ugh this is hitting home for me this month. I hate business travel. It's all the unpleasant things about travel (jet lag, flights, logistics) with none of the discovery and excitement that makes it worthwhile.

  • http://www.thatstangly.com/ Candice

    Oh god, I love this. My biggest travel mistake ever was not spending more time researching the area I was in when my company went to France. Ended up totally lost and confused, wasted three days off sitting in my stupid apartment when the Loire Valley was nearby. Damn business travel.

  • magicant

    I really can't complain too much – in all honesty, I have gone places that I might not have seen otherwise, as brief and superficial as those trips may have been. As seems to be the theme of my writing this week, I blame myself for not pushing the boundaries more along the way!

  • magicant

    I struggle with the research question – part of me loves the act of exploring with no set list of things to see, but I do find that I miss out on things that I don't find out about until I've already left. I think that's one of the reasons I want to settle into a town for a month at a time and really take my time learning about everything within 100 miles over the course of my stay.

  • http://www.nomadicchick.com/ Nomadic Chick

    Business travel is mostly unknown territory to me. The one or two times it happened, I saw quite a lot of San Fran (considering it was bizness) and almost crashed Prince's pad in Minneapolis. Enough about me. Hello! Magicant is a damn good writer. Why do I feel like a proud stage mother??

  • monica530

    What ever happened to school trips? And it's more expensive to travel during the summer than any other time.

  • monica530

    I've never had the opportunity to travel for business but you make it sound like it's a good thing that I don't. Lol

  • monica530

    Oh man! That's definitely a lesson to be learned. Are you planning to go back to France again?

  • monica530

    I get the same feeling too when I leave a place I just visited. It sucks to you know that you were right there and totally missed out on a an event.

  • monica530

    Haha! Aww…you've got a nurturing soul. That's why. :)

  • http://www.migrationology.com/ Migration Mark

    Hehe, love number 6 about eating at an Italian restaurant in Singapore. I'm sure it's good, but you got to eat the local stunning food of Singapore including the likes of Indian, Malay, and Chinese mixtures.

  • http://www.baconismagic.ca/ ayngelina

    I've gone to New York a few times for work and while I liked how I was able to go and see whatever I wanted. I always too taxis because I could expense them and never saw the subway. I regret that.

  • kirstenalana

    This was a fabulous post – happy to say I am only guilty of one of them! I thought the ending of Up In The Air was mildly happy. Long story.

    Also, the taxis are cool in London but that is far from the only thing I noticed or experienced while there. So I feel ok.

    This was a great idea for a post. Loved it!!

  • monica530

    Hmm…I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. Southeast Asian food definitely has a palette of its own. Very different from Italian although I do LOVE pasta.

  • monica530

    Haha! The subway here isn't really much to see. Of all the train systems I've taken, I would honestly have to say that NYC is the worst of them all. That's because NYC also has one of the oldest subway transit systems too. Pretty rotten if you ask me.

  • monica530

    You can thank Joel for his fantastic writing. I'm sure you're not the only one who felt that way about Up In The Air. We should do a poll and see how the travel community felt. That would be interesting. :)

  • kirstenalana

    I think a poll concerning Up in the Air would be *fascinating*!!

  • http://twitter.com/mybellavita Cherrye Moore

    This was so cute. LOVE the DD reference. Although I rarely traveled overseas when I worked in an office, I'm definitely guilty of stopping at Starbucks when I'm outside of Italy!

  • monica530

    Guilty too. I've had KFC in China. Lol.

  • http://www.atravelaroundtheworld.com/ marta@atravelaroundtheworld

    so funny! likely for me on the few business trips that I made I always went to Italy, my home country, and manage to have some great holidays while doing business over a great meal and spending most of the day sightseeing

  • magicant

    I LOVED the ending of Up in the Air. Whole movie actually – it was so close to my life it was a little scary (including the family and wedding in northern Wisconsin).

    The ending made me happy because it validated my choices (that's the way I took it, anyway).

  • magicant

    Helloooo, how about sharing the Prince story??

  • monica530

    I think if I'd be a horrible businesswoman in Italy. After I eat pasta, all I want to do is nap. Haha!

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com/ Candice

    I'm apparently being sent back again soon, yay! Doing it right this time…hooray for second chances!

  • http://www.MyBeautifulAdventures.com/ GlobalButterfly

    Haha, this is really funny and oh so true!

  • Aileen

    That is what I have been telling you all along Mon, business travels are not proper travels! All my trips are basically meeting, dinner, sleep, meeting, dinner, sleep…

  • nomadicchick

    Alright, the Prince story. My boss at the time was permanently thrust into the 90's. Not how fashion is reworked these days, but bonafide old school. She had the biggest crush on Prince, maybe cause they looked eerily similar. We were at a bar in d/t Minneapolis when she had the idea to storm Paisley Park at midnight. The rumor mill was that Prince gave moonlight concerts to rabid fans camped outside his door. Then we got drunk and forgot about it. Or she did, I don't remember drinking much in those days.

    Funny, I just saw Up in the Air this past weekend. I think the ending was majorly open-ended. He took a chance on something, but ended up disappointed. I'm betting his character actually changed dramatically from that incident and won't even view travel the same, which was superior throughout the movie. I'd say Ryan got a little humble and human. Hey, just sayin'.

    Sorry this tale is so late! :)