My Life Update: Unemployed, Cancer, High Blood Pressure, Scoliosis & an MBA

March 13th, 2011 | 63 comments


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Well, the title pretty much sums up my life right now. Things are a little off track. I’ll start with the most alarming one: cancer

Cancer

I don’t have it so you can all exhale now. My grandmother does. She was admitted to the hospital shortly after Chinese New Year. The doctor diagnosed her with stomach cancer and advised not to have her go under the knife. She’s 87 years old and there’s a high chance she won’t make. Last weekend, she was admitted to the hospital again.

Most of the time, I feel helpless because I’m so far away. My grandmother lives in Shenzhen, China with my grandfather. The only thing I can do is send money to pay the medical bills but it never feels like it’s enough. My grandfather and my dad have accepted that this is the beginning of the end for her. I haven’t.

Unemployed

I was laid off on Monday. It took a few days for me to fully digest everything but now I think about it, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. Without my 50 hour work week and 10+ hour commutes, I have more time for family in light of current events.

High Blood Pressure

I visited the doctor the day after and found out I had high blood pressure at age 23. Scary, isn’t it? I guess you can call it an occupational hazard. Due to my long work hours at a tiny desk and small computer screen, I’ve forgotten to take care of my mental and physical health. That’s never happening again. Since I’ve been laid off, I’m more conscious about eating my fruits and veggies and I definitely make sure I exercise at least 30 minutes every day. Any ideas on how to lower high blood pressure?

Scoliosis

Another occupation hazard – back pains. I was diagnosed with scoliosis, a curve or curves in the spine, when I was in the 5th grade. Sitting at a small desk for 10 hours a day only exacerbated it. There were many mornings where I woke up feeling like I’m 50. Now that I have 60 hours of my week back, yoga has become a part of my daily routine.

MBA

I’ve been looking forward to this for a very, very long time. This fall I will be starting graduate school at Georgetown University! I can’t wait to meet all the travel bloggers in DC.

So what’s next?

I’m currently looking to be employed again. If you or anyone you know is hiring a social media community manager please contact me! I’m available for short-term projects as well. Anything that will help me pay for my massive MBA tuition bill will be greatly appreciated.

I’m also looking for guest bloggers. I have a lot of things to figure out in the next few months and it would be great if I could get a little help keeping this blog of mine running and alive. If you’re interested in guest blogging for me, please email me at monica@apairofpantiesandboxers.com

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  • Laura

    So sorry to hear! Tough times right now but congratulations on grad school. Sending happy thoughts to you & your family.

  • http://www.MyBeautifulAdventures.com/ Andi Perullo

    Oh wow, when it rains it pours!!! I’m so so so sorry about your Grandmother. I wonder is she’s getting any acupuncture or taking any herbs, I bet she is! I know how much you wish you could be there. And wow, what happened with your job??? Last we talked you were the one that was going to quit! Did they find out you were leaving and beat you to the punch? Pleeeeeease take care of your HBP. You so shouldn’t have it at your age and with how skinny you are! I’m always here if you need me! XOXO

  • http://twenty-somethingtravel.com Stephanie

    I’m sorry your having such a hard time right now- it sucks how when it rains it pours. Still, as a DC Native I think you will really love Georgetown- it’s where I wish I went to college. You will have to let me know when you move down- I will be home for awhile this summer and will definitely take you out for a drink!

  • http://twitter.com/skinnybackpackr Dustin Main

    Sorry to hear about the rough times, but good luck around the next corner. Talk to your doc about lowering your blood pressure, and avoid books promising magic fixes.

    Good luck on your MBA, and here’s to a larger computer screen!

  • http://www.theaussienomad.com Chris

    Talk about getting hit out of the park mate. Something tells me your determination and zest for life will pull you through.

    As apparent by the comments that preceded mine, there is one awesome support network just sitting in the wings if you needed it as well.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for your support Laura. I really appreciate it. :)

  • Anonymous

    Yes, it certainly does. I’m not sure if she’s getting acupuncture. Does that really help? She’s probably taking herbs though. I’m trying to exercise daily and eat healthier. Less sodium, less salt, less MSG and all that is bad for me. Thanks for being there. :)

  • Anonymous

    Yay! I’m so excited to meet you. I’m probably going to be moving at the end of July. Orientation starts the first week of August. We should definitely grabs drinks. You can give me the 411 on DC. :) What area do you live now? I’m looking for apartments around Dupont Circle. There’s a free shuttle bus from there to Georgetown.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Dustin! I’m trying to eat healthier and exercising at least 30 minutes a day. I haven’t come across any promising magic fixes. Right now, it’s low sodium, low salt, no MSG and more fruits and veggies.

  • Anonymous

    Hey Chris! I’m so grateful for this wonderful travel community and for your kind words. It really warms my heart. Hope all is well with you. :)

  • Flipnomad

    sorry to hear that you got laid off… im sure you’ll find a job pretty soon :-)

  • http://twitter.com/darrickjlee Darrick J Lee

    When one door closes, another one opens. Things happen for a reason and I’m sorry to hear about your job, but glad to hear about your health realization and your sudden increase in free time.
    Have you thought about what you’re going to do for the next few months? Since you have several months before school, might I recommend a short vacation… not a vacation in the usual sense, but a trip to ShenZhen… Visit your grandparents and spend a month there… spend time with time and learn from them… make it a family history project… bring a pocket video cam and record your time with them… go do taichi with them in the morning and work on your canto/mando/chinese… Learn to pick out veggies and cook some healthy dishes… (you’ll have to watch the salt… they love that there…)
    make it the best month of your life and record every second. It’ll be a great life/learning experience and you’ll be grateful years from now. It’ll be something you can share with your family and the recordings will be something you can carry with you for the rest of your life.
    It’s something I have ready when the time comes for me to start my Elder Project…

    Congrats on Georgetown and DC will be another learning experience… just don’t expect anything out of ChinaTown/street… It only serves to remind you of what good food you have in NYC… I’ll have to show where the good food is here and can discover the good, healthy, tasty food… :-D

  • http://www.artofbackpacking.com AOBteresa

    I am SO sorry about the current troubles in your life. On a personal note, I completely understand what it is like when a loved one is ill. Please, send my wishes to your family and take care of yourself. Take this time to find peace of mind, breathe, be with your family: trust me; even if you fall off the face of the earth for a bit, it will be worth it.

    Congrats on grad school! That is a great accomplishment! I really wish you well with that. All my love, prayers, thoughts and happy vibes going your way. *hug*

  • http://www.adventurouskate.com Adventurous Kate

    Monica, I’m so sorry about your grandmother and the other turmoil that’s been going on in your life.

    But I’m so happy for you about Georgetown!

    PLEASE use this unexpected time off to take care of yourself…especially before grad school starts. Your body is throwing you some huge signs — please listen to it! <3

  • http://twitter.com/OrdinaryTravelr Ordinary Traveler

    I’m so sorry to hear that things are all hitting you at once. I agree that looking at being laid off as a blessing is probably the best thing you can do for yourself right now. Spend time with family and take care of your health. :) I just lost my Grandmother to cancer last year and unfortunately I wasn’t able to see her before she passed.

  • http://suzrocks.com/blog SuzRocks

    Wow- so much stuff going on. Unfortunately, I don’t have any job contacts for you- but I can tell you that the excercise and eating healthier will do wonders for your blood pressure. It’s probably all stress related. Mine was pretty high when I started school. Try to get lots of sleep.

  • Anonymous

    Wow! Isn’t it amazing how everything seems to hit at once?

    On the other note, I’ll be happy to have you in the DC area! If you’re looking for somewhere with cheap rent, let me know – I have several good recs for you.

  • http://www.europeantravelista.com Debbie Beardsley

    Wow, you do have a lot on your plate right now! They say “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” and it looks like you are thinking optimistically about your work situation. Exercise will help your HBP and clear your mind of the clutter- at least for a while.

    Keep a positive attitude and you’ll weather this storm just fine.

  • http://twitter.com/100Mileshighway Katherina

    I’m so sorry. Everything seems to hit at the same time…
    But I’m happy to read that you keep being positive – Great deal about the MBA in Georgetown, wow! I was considering one myself, but in about 2-3 years time… and Georgetown is on my list :)

  • Akila

    Monica, I’m SO sorry to hear about everything that is going on in your life right now. The high blood pressure part is super scary but one really simple way to reduce your blood pressure is to take a lot of walks (and increase exercise in general). My husband had a lot of difficulties with his blood pressure and he found that eating healthier, exercising, and being more relaxed has helped him without much medication. My thoughts are with you as your grandmother goes through this – I know how difficult it can be to lose someone you care about and I hope that you are able to see her and spend as much time (virtually or in reality) as you can.

  • http://www.wild-about-travel.com/ Simon

    Gosh, Monica, I’m so sorry! That’s quite a lot of bad news all at the same time. I wish I could do something to help you. Anyway, don’t be worried about scoliosis. Lots of people have it and it’s nothing that bad. High blood pressure might be due to the stress you’ve been enduring recently and I’m pretty sure it will get normalized very soon.
    I wish I could find some nice words for your grandmother and for you. What I hope at most is for her to suffer as less as possible.
    I send you a big hug.

  • http://www.tourabsurd.com Katrina

    Monica, so sorry to hear about your grandmother. This may be a crazy question, but now that you’re not working, could you head to China to see her? Could be life changing.

    I sympathize with the back pain and blood pressure issue. Those two factors were a huge part of why I quit my last job. What I learned is that my body was doing me a favor. It was letting me know that the circumstances were extremely unhealthy for me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I still haven’t quite gotten on firm footing since the change, but I’m headed in the right direction and feeling much better about life. Never again will I work in a cubicle farm for close-minded, rigid people! I’ll hitchhike around the world wwoofing and couchsurfing instead. Freedom and happiness are key!

    That being said, a time of chaos can be disconcerting, but also filled with opportunities. Don’t overlook this chance to get to know and redefine yourself. Your body wants you to. :)

  • http://holesinmysoles.blogspot.com/ Jim

    Hi Monica,
    I have to agree with Darrick J lee when he says “When one door closes, another one opens. Things happen for a reason and I’m sorry to hear about your job, but glad to hear about your health realization and your sudden increase in free time.”
    Life throws curveballs at us -it’s what we do with them that counts. Make the most of every situation you find yourself in. And seems like you’re doing that.

    Way long time ago, I got fired- best thing that ever happened to me. I look back now and say ‘Thanks.” Traumatic times, down for a day, stocktake on myself, a new career path, and never looked back.

    You’ll do the same.

  • http://twitter.com/conniehum Connie Hum

    Monica, I’m so sorry to hear about all the stuff that’s going on in your life right now. BUT I do think that this is leading you to a new and better direction in life. Stay strong, for yourself and for your family. You are bound to bounce back into something even greater than before!

  • http://www.rebeccaandtheworld.com Rebecca

    So sorry to hear you’re having such a rough time – and why does it always seem to happen at once? But I’m so impressed at your ability to look at the positive side of things. Keep that up – it will be hard but staying strong is the best way to face these challenges.

  • http://inspiringtravellers.com/ Andrea and John

    Wow, a mixed bag of things happening in your life right now! I wouldn’t worry too much about being laid off because you’re off to some amazing adventures doing your MBA at Georgetown – what a great school. So sad to hear about your grandmother =( Looking forward to reading about your journey and how you tackle these challenges!

  • http://fastforwardacademy.com/index-page-irs-enrolled-agent-exam-course.htm enrolled agent course

    Soon you will realize that there’s a reason behind all these. Sorry to hear about your grandmother. For the past months that I’ve been reading your blog, I know you’re a tough lady and that you’ll manage to stand still amidst the challenges. Good luck on your MBA.

  • http://twitter.com/OverYonderlust Erica Kuschel

    Oh lady, I am so sorry. *hugs*

    When my grandmother passed due to cancer, while I wasn’t ready for her to leave my life, I was so happy that she was no longer in pain.

    More hugs! Take care of yourself!

  • Anonymous

    Thanks dude! I really hope I land something soon. :)

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for the support Darrick. :) I’m going to be looking for a new in the next few months. But not sure who would want to hire someone who can only work a few months before going to graduate school. If the job hunt doesn’t work out, I’ll volunteer or something just to keep my resume fresh. I like that you have a plan and an Elder Project. I wish I had thought of that sooner.

    I forgot that you lived near DC! I’ll definitely reach out to you when I get settled. :) Thanks again for your kind words. I truly appreciate it.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Teresa. :) I have a feeling I will be going MIA every so often but it’s good to know that there are people like you who truly care. The travel community really is such a wonderful place.

    If you get a chance, don’t hesitate to come visit me in DC! :)

  • Anonymous

    Hey Kate! Thanks for your thoughts. :) I am doing my best to take care of myself: exercising, eating my fruits and veggies and getting enough sleep definitely helps. I’d tell you that I hope everything is well with you but given all your photos and blog posts, I already know the answer to that. :)

  • Anonymous

    I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother as well. I guess it’s just part of the life cycle. I’m trying to be more accepting of it but it’s easier said than done.

    I’m definitely taking advantage of this time I have to take care of myself and spend more time with my family. Thanks for your kind thoughts. Safe travels!

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Suz! I have a feeling the HBP definitely has something to do with my current events. I’m just glad I get time to myself now and I’m enjoying it as much as I can before I start graduate school. I’ll definitely be looking to you for tips on surviving through my MBA. :)

  • Anonymous

    Yes, for some reason it always tends to happen this way. Maybe it’s another one of Murphy’s Laws. I’m definitely interested if you have any recommendations for cheap places to stay in DC.

    I’m currently looking into Dupont Circle. It’s not known for being cheap but there is a free shuttle bus that leaves from there to Georgetown so it’s really convenient and cheap for me.

    Where else do you suggest I look?

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for the encouragement Debbie. I’m definitely enjoying this time I have to myself. Not sure how much more of it I’ll get when I start graduate school so I’m cherishing every moment with friends and family.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for your thoughts Katherina. If you have any questions about Georgetown, feel free to reach out to me. By then, I’ll know a lot more about it. :)

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for your kind words Akila. I truly appreciate it. :)

    I’ve been trying my best to exercise daily and eat healthier – more fruits and veggies like the doctors say. I’ve also been doing a lot more yoga, which is something that has definitely helped me with stress and physical aches.

    Hope the two of you are traveling safe around the world. I hope to be able to do what you and your husband do one day with my significant other. :)

  • Anonymous

    Hi Simon! Thanks for your kind words. I really appreciate it. Now that I have this time off, I’m spending it more with friends and family – people I really care about. Hope you are doing well back in Italy. Can’t till we meet again! Ciao!

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for your kind words Katrina. I’m trying to make plans to go see but it’s complicated. My family is worried about me being there if/when she passes. They don’t want me to be there by myself if that happens.

    I’m definitely taking this opportunity to take better care of myself. I vow never to let an office job do this to me ever again. It’s not worth the sacrifice because in the end, the company can always find someone to replace you.

    Good luck on your adventures around the world! Trave safe! :)

  • Anonymous

    Hi Monica, Sorry to hear about your grandmother. But at least you’re helping in what ways you can.

    Sounds like your current unemployment status may be a good thing for your blood pressure. Daily yoga is great. As is meditating.

    And Georgetown, how exciting! Will be in touch if my travels ever take me to D.C.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Jim…I’m starting to think that this might be a blessing in disguise. My job was putting my mental and physical health at risk and it’s not worth it to slave that way. Right now, I’m taking it one day at a time. I’m enjoying much freedom and love the fact that I can spend more time with friends and family, even though I’m broke. :)

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for the encouragement Connie! I truly appreciate it. Like I said, this could be a blessing in disguise so I’m going to enjoy every opportunity I have to spend time with friends and family and to take better care of myself. :)

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Rebecca…I think it’s probably one of Murphy’s Law where bad things just like to happen all at once. Wish good things worked that way too. Lol

    I truly appreciate the encouraging words and I’m doing the best I can to take better care of myself – mentally & physically.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for the encouraging words guys! I am really looking forward to my MBA. Right now, I’m relishing in this new freedom I have and taking every opportunity to make the most of it.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks! I really appreciate your encouraging words. I’m doing my best to take better care of myself – mentally & physically. I realized that this opportunity I have to do whatever I want in these next few months aren’t going to last forever and I’m sure I won’t have much of it when I start my MBA so I’m not wasting a single moment.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks! I really appreciate your encouraging words. I’m doing my best to take better care of myself – mentally & physically. I realized that this opportunity I have to do whatever I want in these next few months aren’t going to last forever and I’m sure I won’t have much of it when I start my MBA so I’m not wasting a single moment.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Erica! That’s the same way I feel about my grandmother. It’s selfish for me to want her to stick around when she’s in pain. But I’m not ready to let go either. It’ll take some time and I really hope that I’ll be ready soon.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Erica! That’s the same way I feel about my grandmother. It’s selfish for me to want her to stick around when she’s in pain. But I’m not ready to let go either. It’ll take some time and I really hope that I’ll be ready soon.

  • Anonymous

    Personally, I think that Dupont rent is going to damage your bank account pretty badly. I’d look at places along the blue or orange lines in Northern Virginia. Significantly cheaper, and you can take a shuttle bus from Rosslyn station to Georgetown University – it’s just across the bridge and is only a 5-10 minute ride. The metro is pretty efficient and fast, so living further out isn’t as bad as it sounds. Marc used to go to George Washington over in DC and we lived all the way out in Falls Church, but his daily commute was still only 25 minutes.

    Look at places in Arlington that are close to an orange line stop (we lived at the Cavalier Club for a year and they were awesome, and they’re about a 15min walk from the metro), or places in Alexandria that are along the blue line (both orange and blue go through Rosslyn). We currently live in an amazing place right near Old Town Alexandria that is a pre-war apartment 1bdrm with gorgeous wood floors and great neighbors (there’s quite a community in the small complex), and it costs us only $1050/mo with all utilities included, and it’s within close walking distance of many restaurants and bars, a grocery store, and several parks, as well as within longer (30min) walking distance of a Whole Foods, and the neighborhood is very artsy with several design firms, a social media firm, and a SEO firm.

  • http://twitter.com/Shartron Sharon

    congrats on Georgetown! I’m so excited for you! sorry to hear about your grandmother though, hope she gets better!

  • http://www.sid-thewanderer.com/ Siddhartha Joshi

    So many things to pull you down, and you continue to look up :) I do hope you would be able to manage the tuition fee, without breaking your back this time…

    Luck to grandma…

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Erica. The unemployment status is definitely doing wonders for my mental and physical health. Please don’t hesitate to drop by if you’re ever in DC. :) I look forward to meeting you one day.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Sharon! Let me know if you’re ever in DC. :)

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Siddhartha…I’m definitely taking advantage of the time off I have right now to treat my mind and body better. Getting the recommended hours of sleep is definitely doing wonders for my body.

  • http://twitter.com/wnderlustprojct Sheryll

    *hug hug hug* so many hugs for you. But there is always a silver lining in every situation. Yoga and cardio exercise will definitely help alleviate the stress and high blood pressure. Through all of the stress, just make sure to take care of yourself first. In the words of Jim Rohn,”Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.”

    My thoughts and positive energy are with you. If you ever need to talk to anyone, I’m an e-mail away! :)

    and CONGRATS on Georgetown! You’re gonna kick ass!

  • http://twitter.com/darrickjlee Darrick J Lee

    i agree, dupont circle and inner dc is pricey… something w/in walking distance of the metro in northern va is cheaper and still comfortable… plus some places in dc may be affordable, but ull hate living there… Arlington & Alexandria are closer and nicer places, but may be pricier because they’re hot markets due to the location… also varies depending on whether u have a car and want to drive… so much more freedom w/a car and it opens up ur housing market… if ur willing to drive 5-15 minutes to a metro & then head to georgetown… does also depend on ur workload and whether ur thinking of working too… there are lots of job opportunities in the area…

    just make sure u scope out the place before you sign… i kno some that ended up w/something completely different…

  • http://twitter.com/darrickjlee Darrick J Lee

    someone once told me to evaluate my job often and decide if it was fun. When it stopped being fun, then it was time to move on…. so now, every few months i have to evaluate my werking position and decide if it’s fun… and then keep an eye on the job market… in case something happens and i need to find another job, ill know wut to expect and it helps keep me informed about what my job market is looking for. this helps me keep up to date w/the latest trends and job desires…
    that said, i do have a contingency plan of not working for several months and have planned and saved for that… at my last job, we found out our contract was ending w/in 6 months and everyone was scrambling to find another job…
    i was content to wait out the 6 months, then take a couple months off in china/hk/asia on a learning vacation… i started doing the legwork & ran the numbers for it … Had planned on spending time w/my grandfather and getting in touch w/my chinese side :-D

    A month later, unexpectedly i got a phone asking if i was looking for a new job… a week later i had an interview and a job offer that same day and i was stunned… it was wanted to do and would allow me to develop and grow in my career and they offered a 25% raise… the only downside was i would have to *actually do work*… and it put my “fun” plans on hold… but it was a good opportunity closer to home and with flexible hours…
    having just wrapped up a year at the new job, it was the right choice for me even if i wasn’t sure…
    i was torn between two things i wanted to do and didn’t know how to proceed… but apparently God provided and now i have a path to follow…

    just keep your eyes open for opportunities and it’ll find you…

    having to been a number of family funerals in NYC in the past few years, family has become more important than before… our family history is also a mystery and our family is trying to piece bits and pieces together… its been fun learning and meeting other family members and I’ve learned about toisan and the cantonese dialects than were common in chinatown in the the past 40 years… so now w/the technology available, i’d like to record and trace our family history… its something i think everyone should do… its easy to video/audio record life stories and have them point our their memories on google map/earth… its cool to find references and pictures on google and if you’re lucky, ull find family photos online and may bring back memories your grandparents had forgotten… the knowledge and time spent is greater than any amount of money i would save by not doing it… its why i fly out to see my grandfather yearly…

    also, if you really wanna eat healthy, learn to cook for yourself. not only can u control what you eat, but you’ll gain a greater appreciation for all the work that goes into making your meals and ull find out what you do and don’t like in the kitchen… once you find out what goes into the food, u learn to be conscience of what you order and eat….

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for the encouragement Sheryll! You’re a real sweetheart. I’m doing the best I can to eat right and exercise more. One step at a time. And I’m extremely exited about Georgetown. I cannot wait to start my MBA. If you’re ever in NYC or DC, let me know! We should get together for coffee. :)

  • http://www.kirstenalana.com/ Kirsten Alana

    Just … *hugs* And you know I will be here to help you keep up posting on the site. Albeit, not once a week. But as often as I possibly can. I’ve really enjoyed working with you and for you.

  • Anonymous

    Hang in there, Monica! You are so young still! At 23, you have your whole life ahead of you. I wish when I was 23 (long time ago) that I had the same headstrong and creative force that you have! Anyway, grad school should be fun! But whatever you choose to do, I am certain you will succeed! Good luck!

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Jen! I really appreciate your kind words. I’m extremely excited to start grad school. I’ve been looking forward to it for a long time. :)

  • Anonymous

    Thanks Jen! I really appreciate your kind words. I’m extremely excited to start grad school. I’ve been looking forward to it for a long time. :)