Guest post by @magicant

Business travel is an oxymoron, like plastic silverware. It’s not travel. It’s just a bunch of meetings after a really long commute. I’ve been fortunate to see a lot of the world while on the company dime, but I rarely got to experience the places I visited.

Most overseas groups that want to work with American companies are looking to bring America to what they’re doing, so it tends to be a very insular experience. Meetings are in English. The hotels are the chains we’re familiar with. People you deal with were educated at western universities. About the only cultural thing I really learned in my travels was the formality involved in the exchange of business cards.

All that adds up to my desire to break free and someday go back to those places I never really got to know.

Do you think you have a similar problem? Here are some warning signs that mean you need to seek help (with apologies to that redneck guy).

1. If you force your taxi driver in Dubai to stop at Dunkin Donuts because you don’t have them in California… you might be a business traveler
2. If checking out the local bar means taking a Snickers from a mini-fridge in Dusseldorf… you might be a business traveler
3. If you think Sunday mass at the Vatican would flow better with bullet points and clip art… you might be a business traveler
4. If the ending of “Up In The Air” was a happy one…. you might be a business traveler
5. If you’re excited that MTV in Seoul actually shows music videos… you might be a business traveler
6. If people in Singapore take you to an Italian restaurant for dinner… you might be a business traveler
7. If most of the photos of your Hong Kong trip are of the city’s high tech new escalator system… you might be a business traveler
8. If you try to figure out financial models and revenue stream potential while walking through Amsterdam… you might be a business traveler
9. If the only memory you have of London is “Hey, check out the cool looking taxis!”… you might be a business traveler

For those people exhibiting 3 or more of the symptoms above, there are professional counselors standing by. Don’t look at me, I’m guilty of at least 5 of them.

About Joel:

The Freedonia Post is not a blog for travel writing. It’s comedy written while traveling. Well, that’s the plan. I have to start traveling first. And figure out the comedy. The writing? I’m kind of hoping that will happen on its own somehow.